Menu

GC

TrumpDEI

SATIRE: Trump Applauds GC for Pioneering Anti-DEI Leadership Long Before It Was Ordered

, ,

In a fiery press conference President Donald Trump praised Seventh-day Adventist General Conference (GC) leadership for their “visionary, ahead-of-the-curve rejection of woke DEI [Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion] nonsense,” citing their decades-long tradition of maintaining homogeneous leadership structures. “These folks didn’t need executive orders—they just naturally kept things merit-based, by which I mean, very traditional,” Trump […]

andcsm_Ted_Wilson__00a1121cbc

SATIRE – An Interview with GC President Ted Wilson

, ,

In a surprising turn of events, BarelyAdventist (BA) managed to secure an exclusive interview with General Conference (GC) president Ted Wilson over the weekend. We’re still not sure how we pulled it off, but we suspect it might have something to do with our strategic placement of Little Debbie snacks. Here’s how it went: BA: […]

IMG_2884

Your Right to Know

, , ,

A fundamental shift has occurred in our church that directly affects your right to know what’s happening within our denomination. This fall, the General Conference adopted item #6 — a GC working policy addition that makes it a disciplinary offense for any church employee, including pastors and communication staff, to share information with independent Adventist […]

ED0AE718-D529-46D2-86A0-411E69E904D3

SATIRE: GC Says Women Can Be Ordained as Housewives

, ,

SILVER SPRING, Maryland — General Conference (GC) officials have been working hard to offer some form of concession to placate advocates of women’s ordination who were bitterly disappointed by the GC San Antonio “No” vote on the issue. Although the vote result means that regionally approved women’s ordination for pastoral ministry is not sanctioned by […]