The General Conference (GC)has submitted a formal reminder to heaven that GCADCOM needs to review the list of anyone who will be admitted through the Pearly Gates. The reminder, based on a new GC policy of “heavenly audits and visa applications,” says that unless candidates for Heaven live up to every one of the edicts […]
Silver Spring, Maryland — In a groundbreaking announcement, the General Conference (GC) has revealed plans to construct a towering skyscraper that will serve as the literal “Highest Authority on Earth.” The skyscraper, aptly named “The Tower of Compliance,” will soar to unprecedented heights, towering over all other structures in the world. The architectural design reflects […]
