Have we not learned our lesson as a church? It makes me want to hang my head in shame every time I see one of our churches advertising an end-time prophecy seminar. Here’s something I want you to notice: 100% of end-time predictions over the last 2,000 years, supposedly based on careful Bible study, have […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — The wait will soon be over for Walter Veith fans that need clarity on the approximate date of Christ’s second coming. The internet ministry personality promises to reveal the year at the upcoming General Conference (GC) Session. “We may not know the day or the hour but the year is not that […]
In a shocking announcement from the Oval Office that has left Adventist theologians and political analysts alike in a state of bewilderment, President Donald Trump has vowed to “make the Second Coming happen” within the first 90 days of his new term. Addressing the nation from behind his desk, Trump declared, “Nobody knows the Second […]
Local Adventist and fervent Trump supporter Walter “End Times” Johnson disrupted his local election night prayer vigil by declaring that the Second Coming had finally arrived during Trump’s victory speech. “The prophecies are fulfilled! The chosen one has returned to bring judgment upon the wicked!” proclaimed Johnson, who had replaced the church’s traditional prophecy charts […]
Tammy Smugworth, a long-time member of the Pineview Seventh-day Adventist Church, has reportedly been spending hours in front of her mirror, perfecting what she calls her “I knew it all along” face for the moment of Christ’s return. “I want to make sure I have just the right blend of vindication and holier-than-thou when Jesus […]
by David Geelan | 30 July 2024 | It’s a rude awakening: an uncomfortably loud whooping alarm, and a looping announcement: “Emergency, evacuate now.” I check the bedside clock and it’s 3:14 am. Suzie and I fumble to dress and stumble to the elevator, and head down to the lobby of our building. In a […]
by Jack Hoehn “Every healing is a signpost of the Second Coming.” This book is beautifully short (64 pages) but biblically strong in asserting (all but 15 of the 130 footnotes are Scripture references) that the institutional and professional health care of Seventh-day Adventists is our most consequential contribution to the mission of Jesus […]
SILVER SPRING, Maryland — A virtual thunderbolt struck Adventism today as the General Conference (GC) headquarters of the church sent out a push notification to members’ phones announcing the Second Coming. The announcement delighted some members and absolutely horrified others. Adventist hospitals, schools, and Little Debbie’s factories came to an immediate standstill as employees dropped […]
by Aidis Tomsons | 5 January 2024 | We have ended 2023. Whenever we near the end of a year and begin a new one, people publish reviews of the past year, and come up with predictions for the next one. Some express concerns. Others offer hopeful wishes. In Adventist social media forums, and in […]
by Richard W. Coffen Historically, many Christians have felt certain Jesus’ return was near. Some dared to set a date. If you read through this chronological sampling that expands a list Herbert Douglass once distributed, you can see that the imminence of the Second Coming has been touted since Jesus’ words in 30 CE or […]
by Shelley Curtis Weaver | 10 May 2023 | Into every Pathfinder’s life a ten-mile hike must fall. When I was in sixth grade we had one in mid-July, the time in Wyoming when the snow was most likely to have melted from the old highway on the shaded side of Ten Sleep Canyon. Even […]
SILVER SPRING, Maryland – Later today, General Conference (GC) leaders will be voting on the hotly debated topic of where in the headquarters parking lot to gather at the time of the Second Coming. So far, nobody has been able to agree whether to gather for lift-off right outside the main entrance or to aim […]