LOMA LINDA, California — Martha Dogood has spent the entirety of her life in Loma Linda and is the current world record holder for personally earned Pathfinder honor patches (they fill up seven extra-wide sashes).
Martha can quote the Spirit of Prophecy better than White Estate employees and makes Hans Diehl himself blush at her dedication to extreme veganism.
She has never missed a prayer meeting and can remember every Sabbath School memory verse she learned since kindergarten.
Martha has filled up her passport several times over with immigration stamps from Maranatha church building trips. On each trip she learned enough of the local language to dish out personal modesty tips without a translator.
Not until today did she accept grace. This afternoon, she felt a huge weight fall from her shoulders as she accepted Christ for the very first time.
This article originally appeared on BarelyAdventist, a humor and satire site for Adventists who believe in laughter.