SATIRE: Last Generation Theologian Frustrated He’s Only 99% Perfect
BUTTONED UP, Tennessee — Last Generation theologian Solo Opera took a break from his prophetic timeline charts this afternoon to take a 30-minute standardized holiness test.
Opera was hugely dismayed at the end to find out that though he’d scored perfectly in Spirit of Prophecy compilation, doomsday articulation, orienteering theory, fundamental belief generation and soap carving, he answered a Glacier View trivia question incorrectly, resulting in a 99% score.
So close yet so far away from victory, Opera resolved to do better next time and win faith’s fight squarely on his own merits.
This article originally appeared on BarelyAdventist, a humor and satire site for Adventists who believe in laughter.