SATIRE: Last Generation Theologian Frustrated He’s Only 99% Perfect

BUTTONED UP, Tennessee — Last Generation theologian Solo Opera took a break from his prophetic timeline charts this afternoon to take a 30-minute standardized holiness test. Opera was hugely dismayed at the end to find out that though he’d scored perfectly in Spirit of Prophecy compilation, doomsday articulation, orienteering theory, fundamental belief generation and soap […]