COLLEGEDALE, Tennessee — Clara and Ed Holder have big plans for their marriage next year. The Collegedale-based couple is planning to move to a country with territory comfortably within the Arctic Circle, where the sun never sets for several spring/summer months.
“We got married right after graduating from Southern in 2010, and at first everything was peachy,” said Clara. “The last couple of years have been rough, though, and as much as we know we should never let the sun set on our anger, the sun beats us to the punch almost every night. We want to move somewhere where that just won’t happen.”
Ed said that when the couple is not spending their time wearing out marriage therapists in the greater Chattanooga area, they are doing research on countries that allow for 24-hour sunlight for large stretches of time.
“Turns out the northernmost parts of Canada, Greenland, Finland, Norway, Sweden, Russia, Alaska, and Iceland all technically qualify,” said Ed. “Right now we are leaning toward Scandinavia but we haven’t finalized anything yet.”
Clara is confident that the trip to Scandinavia, as well as the drastic change of scenery, will do a world of good for the couple’s relationship. “I can’t wait to move,” said Clara. “Not only will this give us a fresh start but it will totally nix the whole ‘angry sunset’ thing.”
This article originally appeared on BarelyAdventist, a humor and satire site for Adventists who believe in laughter.