Dear Aunt Sevvy:

Is oral sex a sin?

Signed, Consenting Adult

Dear Consenting:

Aunt Sevvy has addressed this before. You can read her response here

But since this keeps coming up, let me say again that the simple answer is no. The Bible doesn’t say anything about it either way, and what consenting spouses enjoy with one another is up to them. 

But—and this is a big but—if you go to your spouse and say, “Aunt Sevvy says oral sex isn’t a sin, therefore you must do it,” that would be a lie. Since you sign yourself “Consenting Adult,” let me remind you that the key to good marital relationships is consent from both parties. You do realize that sex is more than making babies: it draws couples together in loving intimacy. So the question is: are your desires just for sex, or love? 

Pornography has, sadly, taught a very twisted kind of sexuality to the world: one in which women are assumed to want anything and everything sexually that a man desires. There is no love in porn, which is why it is often degrading or even violent toward women. Porn definitely doesn’t portray the best part about sex, which is two souls connecting. 

Aunty once knew a man who insisted his wife perform a sexual act with him that he had witnessed through pornography, though she hated it and felt demeaned by it. She eventually came to hate him

Aunty will take this as an opportunity to say to husbands: don’t force your wives to do things sexually that they hate. That isn’t God’s plan for a happy marriage. Sex is supposed to be something that two people mutually enjoy. If everyone isn’t having fun, then it isn’t fun.

Aunt Sevvy

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