by Debbonnaire Kovacs
I find great blessing in keeping and celebrating God’s ancient Feasts and Fasts as a child of God who believes that Messiah has come and has fulfilled those types as Prophet, Priest, King, and Sacrifice. For the Ten Days of Awe between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, (which I believe are well typified by these long days of waiting for the Coming and final At-One-Ment of God and God’s people) I pray through the Ten Sefirot I found a couple of years ago on iyyun.com/holidays/yomkippur: foundation, thanksgiving, victory, beauty, strength, knowledge, understanding, wisdom, and malchut—hard to translate—the ultimate sovereignty of God. [Note: these are no longer found at the site, though iyyun.com is still active and still has interesting reading for those interested in Jewish spirituality.]
For Yom Kippur, the great Day of Atonement, I take the day off work, fast, spend the time in prayer and meditation, and wear white, a renaissance custom I read somewhere that represents the fact that you will be judged pure and innocent even though you don’t deserve to be (so much for the concept that there’s no Grace in the Jewish theology!)
This year I asked God the following question. Some of the answers I received are in italics below. You may wish to ask God for answers of your own.
If you were creating me today, a whole new person, if you took away from me all my past, all my gifts and talents, all my knowledge and plans and dreams, all my possessions, and I stood before you empty and completely new. . .
what would you give me back?
I give you back your past, complete, leaving nothing out, but entirely cut free from power over you. Your castle still has its dungeons, swept clean, even retaining the memory of the torturing devices, but they are under glass, locked securely, never able to touch you again. This past is almost like a diorama—no power over you now or ever, but it does contain the roots of who you are, and you need it for reference.
I give you those you’ve loved and who have loved you, and the treasure of the grief of their loss, along with the greater treasure of the certainty that your relationship with them is not over. These, and their love and grace, have also contributed hugely (especially my child, your mother) to who you are.
I give you the gifts of everlasting Love, flowing constantly through you from Us, the strength of compassion and loyalty and always stubbornly believing the best of others, your unleashed desire to share reconciliation and healing with all, and the ability to express these things in spoken and written words. I give you the joy of living and working outdoors and the restorative ability to make things with your hands and to teach others. I give you clear sight and the persistence to keep digging and unwrapping a situation until you see it clearly.
I give you music and dance and laughter and friendship.
For now, I give you the possessions of your home and your woods and cabin, but hold them gently and be willing to relinquish them if asked to do so.
And today. . . are you ready? . . . I give you the key to the Tower. You may now begin to explore and to learn the differences and similarities between the Watchtower where I guard you (and the ways you can guard yourself), and the Towers where your work is. You will find gateways to the outside world, to the villages and castles of others. You will learn wisdom concerning when to open the gates and when to keep them closed.
Together, we are ready for the next chapter.
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Lord. I accept Your commission. I re-throne You more centrally and more securely and more certainly than ever, on the throne of my life where You have always lived.