SATIRE – GC: Adventist Coffee Tables Must Be Renamed Hot Chocolate Tables

SILVER SPRING, Maryland — The General Conference (GC) has declared a radical rebranding of every Adventist coffee table across the globe. Say goodbye to those nefarious furniture pieces, because, starting now, they’ll all be officially dubbed “Hot Chocolate Tables.” Yes, you read that right! No longer will the shadow of caffeine loom over faithful homes; […]