ADVENTIST WORLD — Raising hands in worship has always been taboo in Adventist circles. The practice has now been elevated to the unenviable status of “Adventist unpardonable sin” by theologians at the General Conference’s Biblical Research Institute (BRI).
Hand raising narrowly beat out stealing the pastor’s parking spot and excessive pew whispering for the worst of Adventist sins.
The BRI team that studied the matter claimed that raising hands in worship would introduce an element of spontaneity into worship that would send congregants hurtling down a slippery slope of joyful compromise.
“Raising holy hands is the gateway drug to dancing before the Lord, which, though technically biblical, simply is not Adventisty enough,” said the BRI statement.
Adventists have been instructed to say a loud “amen” whenever tempted to raise their hands during song service. If that does not work, the BRI advises members to firmly grip the pew ahead of them like their salvation depends upon it.
This article originally appeared on BarelyAdventist, a humor and satire site for Adventists who believe in laughter.