SATIRE: Name of Orienteering Pathfinder Honor Changed to “Use GPS”

SILVER SPRING, Maryland — The Orienteering Pathfinder honor that used to involve a bunch of complicated wilderness compass and map reading has now been updated.

The new honor is called “Use GPS” and simply recommends that Pathfinders “push the on button on their Garmin devices.”

The General Conference (GC) Pathfinder Department made the decision after way too many Pathfinder leaders complained about their club members’ getting lost in the woods while trying to earn the Orienteering honor at Oshkosh last summer.

“There’s no point putting our Pathfinders through all this antiquated way-finding when modern tech holds the answer,” said a department Facebook update announcing the change to the honor and a new Pathfinder honor in GC Session Paper Ballot Counting.

This article originally appeared on BarelyAdventist, a humor and satire site for Adventists who believe in laughter.