Fully Possessed = Truly Transformed
by Katelyn Pauls
Recently, I’ve been reading through The Desire of Ages. I stumbled across a part in chapter 17 last night that struck me. This chapter is about Nicodemus and his secret night meeting with Jesus. I really like the part where Jesus used the analogy of the wind. He told Nicodemus that even though we see the leaves and branches moving, we can’t actually see the wind. Ellen White says the same is true of the work of the Spirit on someone’s heart. She wrote, “When the Spirit of God takes possession of the heart, it transforms the life” (DA, pg. 173). We can’t see the Spirit of God, but we can see a changed life.
This started the gears turning in my head. I have accepted Jesus and believe that He has saved me. But does God’s Spirit live in my heart? Has my life been changed? I know that I want Him to possess my heart. But do I realize the consequences that will follow that decision? Do I really want my life to be transformed?
It seems like an obvious answer. Of course I want God to change my life. But sometimes I forget about all of the “little sins” that would have to be removed from my life as well. Do I really want to give God control over the types of books I read or the movies I watch? Do I want to let Him decide how I spend my free time? These seem like minuscule details but all of these would have to be addressed before my life would be fully transformed.
I’ve heard a story before that compares my heart to a house. When Jesus comes over, He wants to see everything. Not just the nice rooms that I’ve cleaned especially for Him. He wants to see that closet in the back where all of my dirty laundry has been shoved to be washed later. He wants to see where I’ve hidden all of my contrary thoughts and actions under the bed. He offers to clean my house for me, but Jesus doesn’t do a surface job. He cleans every nook and cranny, in the closet and under the bed. I know I can’t clean the house alone, but if I want Jesus’ help, He wants access to all of my heart.
So now that I’ve let Him into my heart, it’s time for us to get busy. Those books that do nothing but entertain me, shelved. Those movies that really don’t have any value, thrown out. Instead I hope to focus on God and the words He has for me in the Bible. I want to spend my time doing things that will benefit me and others eternally. Forget these things that only entertain momentarily. In the end, they are the biggest waste of my time here on earth!
I want the Spirit of God to fully possess my heart. I know it will be painful at first. It’s not easy to give up those things that I want and have grown accustomed to. However, I know that I want to be truly transformed, from the inside out. In order for that to happen, I need to make some changes. I want to be a true child of God, one whose Father lives in her nice, clean heart.
Katelyn,
If the changes God wants to make in your life seem painful, you're not letting Him be in control because you're still trying to do it yourself. He changes our desires so we don't want the bad things any more and we desire what is good. When we are still tempted, He gives us the power to resist.
Letting God take over is just the starting point. Unfortunately, many Christians stop growing there and live their lives comforting themselves that their limited experience with God is sufficient. Maybe their faith fails because they discover it is not growing and has become impotent. God changes us for a purpose: service seeking the salvation of others. The Bible declares that if we are believers, He has already placed gifts in us that enable us to be effective at whatever ministry He has picked for us. Your challenge is to go beyond just asking Him to be in control and asking Him to show you the empowerment and ministry He has planned for you.
Katelyn,
I read your blog and feel like shedding tears of saddness. I have spent 25 years of my life on a journey so easily begun by the steps you are taking. Seeking peace with self and God by trying to apply faith in the way you describe.
Can I save you 25 years? It cannot be done. It will not work. No one has done it. Those who tell you they have, live a life of denial of the small by over focusing on other things; even ministries.
Do not focus on sin – little or big – if you do, that is what will be always center of attention. The very thing you are trying to escape will consume you – either by guilt of failure or action by attraction!
Accept your humanity, that you are a unique person, with abilities to live, love, enjoy; hurt, harm, or condemn. Accept that it is human to choose which of those you will do. Be what and who you are and treat others as you would like them to treat you. Full stop.
Whatever Jesus' message was or was not, it was one that you are special, life is to be lived; love others; love God.
If those books you tossed were not evil – get them back. If the movie is not evil – watch them now n again. You will be a better person by being fully human and living what you are, than the deceptive, and ultimately pagan journey, of trying to appease God by what you do; even if you validate it by setting out to do so with His power.
cb25,
Were the "ministries" you described the ones traditionally defined by the church? Or, were they ones directly and obviously empowered by the Holy Spirit? I spent a lot of years doing the first and got nothing but frustration. When I discovered the empowerment of the Hoily Spirit, everything changed. God gave me a passion for ministry that I had never experienced before and joy from being a partner with God as I watched Him work through others and me. My ministry was no longer something I chose to do, but something that possessed me as much as God, something I lived to do and would rather do than go to my regular job.
William,
I hesitate to answer that. How long is a piece of string?
If you can untangle the psychology of human emotion, reward, and self from Spirit in the context of ministries that range from selfless to self serving and which is which: I will be able to answer your question.
To give you a tough example, I have seen people passionate within legitimate ministries, ostensibly "empowered by the Holy Spirit", who were using it to take advantage of young girls. I suggest from the outside you would never have known the difference.
I don't question your sincerity, but it is not as simple as you suggest.
God wants each of us to have a ministry that is under His control and functioning in the power He provides. You just haven't found your ministry yet. If you are willing to seek the Holy Spirit and make yourself available to Him to minister in whatever way He directs, you are in for an amazing experience as you discover your ministry and watch God working through you. It is transformational. I have never been closer to God or my faith more energized.
My biggest challenge in discovering my ministry was leaving behind all the traditional concepts about ministry that I had been taught in the church. I tried everything I was supposed to do and didn't do any of them very well. Giving Bible studies? Not good at it. Preaching? Forget it. Teaching? I'm OK.
I like to work with my hands. No, you don't want me working on your car. I call myself "Mr. BadWrench." Or planting your garden. I say my thumbs are brown because of my success rate killing plants. So the ministry God led me into is helping people with their homes. The first result of every miracle Jesus performed was an improvement in the recipient's life. Let me tell you, when you fix a dripping faucet or leaky toilet in the home of a person on a fixed income and the reduction in their water bill allows them to buy more food or medicine that they need, you've improved their life. There are so many amazing aspects to the ministry. God usually sends me big jobs that require the help of others. He always sends all the people I need. Tools and materials? You ought to see what God has sent when I didn't know I needed it until right then! I started out with an old van and a modest-sized tool box populated with simple tools. Today I drive a long-bed, extended cab F-150 pickup with professional-sized tool boxes that are just big enough to carry my tools. I drive nails with a pneumatic nailer and drive screws with cordless drill.
Most amazing of all is the spirit of joy and love that surrounds us on projects and how the hearts of the people we help are turned to God. God is using us to bring people closer to Him and even to make believers out of people who weren't getting along with God until we came to help them. We now have a woman attending church who used to live around the corner in what was the worst conditions I think I have ever seen. One night I went over to fix a plumbing leak and had to wear a paint fume respirator to keep from having an asthma attack from all the mold spores in the house! She had exactly four intact teeth left in her mouth. God worked an amazing series of event that have put her into a better living situation, replaced her rotted teeth with dentures and taught her to love God, whom she despised before.
God has a ministry for you. Ask Him to show you and teach you to depend on Him for guidance and power. It's that simple.
William,
???? God has a ministry for me….find it….etc. What are you on about? I am not seeking a ministry. I don't need a ministry. The discussion was nothing about my ministry. IT WAS about underlying theologies, and the psychology that can drive and motivate us via our church environment.
I am very happy in what I do. I have heard/read your story before. Once again. I do not disparage your ministry in any way.
"If you can untangle the psychology of human emotion, reward, and self from Spirit in the context of ministries that range from selfless to self serving and which is which: I will be able to answer your question."
If you had actually got to address my question, I think we would have gained some wisdom, but no, for some reason that is too hard.
You don't have to untangle anything. God will untangle it all for you when you're doing what He wants you do.
William,
Are you deliberately being frustrating? YOU asked ME a question!
Here it is: "Were the "ministries" you described the ones traditionally defined by the church? Or, were they ones directly and obviously empowered by the Holy Spirit?
I explained why the answer to your question, particularly about being empowered by the Holy Spirit was not easy to answer.
I have to say, what you wrote earlier about your ministry only served to validate my concern. It is strange how the Holy Spirit ends up "empowering" us in "ministries" that push the right buttons for us. You yourself note several things that for some strange reason the Holy Spirit's power has been strangely absent.
At risk of being rude, I would suggest to you that it is way too easy to confuse the empowering of the HS, with the sense of satisfaction, reward, achievment, etc that come from doing things that push the right buttons for our personality, desires, and likes. To put it bluntly: Even if you were an atheist – there would be little or no difference in what you are, because similar things that used your strengths, and abilities and pushed the right buttons for your personality would get you excited and passionate.
So…in a way, by your personal testimony, you did answer my question. You illustrated, yet again, how it is really more what we are, not who God is, that drives what we get passionate about! If it were not so, neither you nor a million others, would have to list things that God never seems to empower them for – always things that are not their personality. It ALWAYS ends up coming back to what we are: Deep inside our personality.
(ps I know all about supposed spiritual gifts etc, so let's not go there)
I apologize for not communicating clearly or understanding you properly.
It sounds like you're where I was a few years ago. I knew the theology about spiritual gifts. I had hangups about confusing feelings with the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. Then I burned-out spiritually. There were a number of factors contributing to that burnout, the biggest being a long-term frustration caused by dichotomy between the Bible promise of empowerment and the obvious lack of it in the church where people kept talking about experiencing it, yet without the evidence of it in their lives. I felt great sadness for new converts knowing that their dreams of serving God would never be fulfilled. Some of them stayed in the church when they accepted the concepts that the official jobs filled by the Nominating Committee were the ministries God intended for them and that the Holy Spirit would come in power at some date in the indefinite future. I even taught classes about spiritual gifts, then quit after seeing everyone get frustrated because they were not discovering any empowerment.
What was wrong? I hadn't experienced the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. I had concepts, but they weren't working. So I had to burn-out before I was willing to shed all the baggage that was preventing me from discovering the Holy Spirit.
Now, on your point about not mistaking feelings for empowerment, seeking feelings in the manner of Charismatics is clearly not what God wants. But feelings do come after you see God working in power. I am absolutely amazed by how God works and that He would be willing to work through imperfect and sinful me. Working in the power of the Holy Spirit has brought me to levels of emotion that I had not experienced before. So, no, you can't separate emotions from the experience, but they are the result, not the proof. The proof is in seeing what God does through you.
William,
You say: "It sounds like you're where I was a few years ago." Nope.
Also, I didn't mention charismatics as a similarity – it is not relevant to my points at all.
I guess, at least we have answered the first question: No one can tell the difference between a "ministry" empowered by the HS and one that is not.
You refer to the "…dichotomy between the Bible promise of empowerment and the obvious lack of it in the church where people kept talking about experiencing it, yet without the evidence of it in their lives."
Why, oh WHY, do we keep on blaming the people for this dichotomy. Has it, or is it never going to occur to us, that just maybe we are understanding the "promises" and their reaity WRONG!? How long do we have to wrench peoples lives into pretzels trying to "experience" what may in fact be a completely false expectation, based on error of understanding?
You can understand how you see the "results" in your life/ministry. Great, but it is totally subjective. Do you have one verifiable miracle? Not an event where circumstances lined up, and can be interpreted as God's moving. Just one, that's all I ask.
I don't say it cannot happen, or that you don't have one, but I do say that if God was what we say He is we should not end up with churches full of people who struggle with the dichotomy till it burns them out. You cannot tell me an interventionist God who loves his people, seeks them out, and wants to lavish his presence on them when they seek him does that. NO.
Better we see faith for what it should be: The domain of belief only applied to that beyond where hard data and reality end. It is not the thin film between the two realities – it is the realm beyond what can be known, and is never meant to replace what is observable, known, real. The realm of faith, by its very definition, cannot be known with any certainty. Yet, we screw up people's lives seeking its power as though it can and could. I now live in the real world, and it is a beautiful, peaceful, wonderful, fulfilling, satisfyng, place to be.
This is what concerns me about Kaitlin's blog and search. It is and will be, even by your own observations, a journey of frustration. Far better to build a faith that if firmly begun in the realities of what it means to be human, to live, to love, to hurt, to hunger, and to choose, WITHOUT the burden of guilt imposed by these false expectations and dichotomies.
I should just add. My real world is not absent faith. You may remember the "green lights" in Wagga I mentioned some time ago. Well, a week or so after that my son and I were coming back from Bunnings (again). As we left I pictured the lights in my mind and wrote down the sequence of colors they would be when we got to them. I was right. When I did that, I could "see" the colors in my head as I imagined each light we would come to. Other times I can picture them and I do not see the color.
We have both tried this since and it always ends up give and take a bit 50/50. Luck? Perhaps. But seeing the colors is really clear – when it happens. I happen to think there is more to reality than what we see and know in normal circumstances. I do have faith. I just happen to think we have really screwed up understandings of who, what, and how it all works beyond our reality, and that we should not teach people to live and dictate their lives around the words of men, or our interpretations of those words.
Faith is a personal thing. First live in the real world.
cb25
You stated that "No one can tell the difference between a "ministry" empowered by the HS and one that is not." If that is true it is obvious you have never met the Holy Spirit or an empowered ministry. I will agree with you that there are many who pretend to be empowered and seeing them can raise doubt about the possibility of real empowered ministries. I can tell you from my experience that the Holy Spirit is real, is powerful, and works with great power. I have the privilege of working with God in that empowerment with the results standing as proof.
Have I seen miracles? Absolutely! Both large and small. About the only miracle I haven't seen yet is someone raised from the dead. The greatest miracles have been seeing how God's love melts hard hearts and grows love for him in people who once hated him.
You have a choice to make: continue in your disbelief or let God reveal Himself to you in the power of the Holy Spirit. I pray that you will allow God to make that revelation to you so your doubts will disappear.
William,
You are persistent, if nothing else.
Ignore questions, twist answers, give off topic answers, or if all else fails, turn it all around and judge the other person in need of what you have in spite of everything the other person has said that blows your arguments out of the water!!!
Enjoy your day. When you are willing to reason together we can talk.
William and cb25:
In reading your comments, you both have some good advice/information. However, I am a bit put off in that you both have tended to judge the other's religious experience and make harsh inferences. I personally don't believe God wants us to take on this job. You seem to be two different personality types and shouldn't expect your ideas of ministry and happiness to be the same.
BTW I believe God wants us to find a ministry that we enjoy, and we should not have to defend that. I believe the Holy Spirit works through our personal psychological make-up, and it is unloving to tell someone else how they should experience God or question their experience unless they have asked you for guidance.
I admire your resolve, Katelyn. But you do make it feel like you've just taken up alligator wrestling. If that's really where you feel God is calling you, then by all means, let no one stand in your way. But if you already know all the bad stuff in your life that you need to get rid of, I'm betting that you are hearing childhood tapes and sermons more clearly than God's voice. I tend to think that, when we let God's Spirit into our lives, He doesn't seem to much care about the "sins" that we thought were important. And He generally reveals His will a day at a time – like mana in the wilderness. He doesn't work according to our New Year's resolutions and five-year plans. It sounds to me like you've started a self-help plan, which you hope will make you worthy to have God's Spirit dwell in your heart.
Are you less a true child of God when you are not fully surrendered and open to transformation? I appreciate your quest for excellence. I also appreciate that when God calls us, He generally moves us out of our comfort zones. But by doing what you believe will purify your life, it may be that you are antiseptically separating yourself from the very things by which God would connect you to other people in the real, messy world. Make sure you are letting Him lead. If the path ahead is clear to you, you probably don't need the light of the Spirit, and you can be pretty sure that it is not the path along which God would have you travel.
I absolutely need the light of the Holy Spirit at all times and in all ways. My challenge is sometimes being willing to accept that He really is guiding me in a particular way. Yet when I've been willing to follow those times have become some of the greatest adventures of my life. Like April 27, 2011 when North Alabama suffered the most intense outbreak of tornadoes since 1974. I found myself out in the middle of the storms with two others trying to rescue one's wife and six children after their house was destroyed. No, I did not want to expose myself to danger. I wanted shelter. But God gave us a clear need and we felt like He was telling us to go. I learned later that along the way we were within a half-mile of at least five tornadoes that did not touch down and directly under a sixth that rocked my pickup severely. Looking back leaves me in absolute awe of God's power to guide and protect us when surrounded by danger that is destroying property and taking lives.
What happened that day is one story my grandchildren are definitely going to hear about!
I think it's wonderful that your heart is sensitive to and responding to God's Spirit in this way. Like other commenters, I have experienced frustration and failure in similar self-driven attempts. The changes that have been easiest and most permanent have come when I have focused on God instead of the sin and let him fill my life with something good. In all cases, what he filled my life with pushed out other things that weren't so good for me, and I didn't even miss them when they were gone.
Trying to get rid of things on my own usually leaves a gaping void and causes more problems, just as Jesus said it would in Matthew 12 and Luke 11. Here's to filling your life with good!
Well stated. Kendra.
Katelyn,
There is some good counsel here, and Kendra says it best. I just hope you can get past the subtle and not so subtle debate at the beginning of the comments. (See my post above.) It's good to share our encouraging spiritual experiences (without questioning someone elses) when we give any kind of spiritual counsel.
The article reflects what happens when one seriously contemplates on their personal walk with God in spite of their shortcomings and the daily struggles that rage within us. The testimony of such experiences brings inspiration to others too and encourages them to all seek the kingdom of God and His Righteousness: to ask, knock, believe and be transformed. Ellen White writings are truly inspirational and bring strong conviction and 'desire' to fully receive the Holy Spirit and be transformed by His power. Those who sincerely seek such a deeper experience through complete surrender and total trust in God will receive what they sincerely asked for. Seeking Righteousness by Faith in Christ Jesus is the ultimate gift of his Amazing Grace. This experience makes the things of this world grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace. The devil won't like this for obvious reasons and will seek to discourage and create doubt or distraction when one surrenders all to Jesus. It is at this point that I would encourage one to be even more resolute to continue growing in the grace of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. [Matt 19:25, 26], [Phil 4:13], [Gal 2:20].
There is all information so helpful I think it's wonderful that your heart is sensitive to and responding to God's Spirit in this way.
Woods practices general & cosmetic dentistry from her dental office in Chapel Hill, NC. She serves Chapel Hill,
http://www.getnutri.com/drwood.htm
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Thank you for the organized information. Everyone who happens to pass by your site will definitely get a lot from you.
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