Finding my way …

by Harry Banks

A recent confrontation with my faith community has given me the opportunity to check my compass …

Several years ago I ran across some guidelines for spiritual self-direction that gave practical inner criteria for spiritual self-appraisal. And from time to time I seem to walk a solitary journey which allows me the opportunity to revisit some of these cardinal points (you know those four principal directions you see in the compass rosette on maps).

So if you'd like I'll take you along with me as I review some of my life touchstones which have helped me through the several decades of my life.

Discernment

So in the middle of pressures, arguments, scripture quoting, true and false piety posturing all around me how can I discern whether I'm in the right spiritual place … Hmmm … OK so my buddy Adrian (sorry but I never actually met him) describes some things to look for when evaluating my spiritual self-direction.

He says: "There are … moods and feeling that can reveal to us if our way of life is compatible or incompatible with our divine self-direction." I translate that to mean, Can I tell if the Holy Spirit is having a chance to be heard in my spiritual conversation with myself?

He goes on: "Signs of compatibility [to me that means signs of listening to the Holy Spirit] are moods of gentleness and peace, equanimity and humility, a peaceful determination, joy and resiliency."

Then he goes for the contrast: "Signs of incompatibility [my interpretation, I ain't listening Godward worth a darn!] are the opposite moods of vehemence, agitation, excited partiality, exaltation, depression, discouragement, sadness and lack of quiet determination."

So whadayathink? Does that make sense to you? Well it did to me. So today I'm checking my inner conversation. Last night I was confused, begging God to let a little light shine through; Thinking I was "the only one in Israel" if you get the reference. This morning I'm actually able to pick up this blog which I had promised myself not to touch until there was a clear indication of positive Godward motivation. And upon checking, there is a mood of gentleness and peace and the rest of the list.

OK, OK. I know there are the you-can't-depend-on-mood-people out there, so let me just toss out a little thought crumb for them. So when the fruits of the spirit are described as "Love, Joy, Peace …" do some of those sound like moods? Huh? Huh?

You don't have to agree with me but I'm thinking that sorta supports Adrian's criteria.

But I digress. My buddy Adrian doesn't stop there he even goes so far as to say that from his point of view there is only one "sure sign" that one is following the right way and that "is the permanence of profound inner peace and tranquil determination."

So the miracle has happened. As I write this blog that inner peace is showing itself. Now all I have to do is to see if I keep listening to God's best stuff well enough that it develops into that state of permanence.

Disillusionment

So why do I have trouble staying there? He suggests that the journey to "tranquil determination" is not an easy trip because it likely goes like this:

I have a deep longing for a relationship with an ultimate being.

Along the path I may transfer that yearning to relationships with teachers, sweethearts, clergy, or institutions.

After some time I may get caught up in a period of disillusionment when I realize these substitutes can't fill the place of the ultimate being. (I was pretty much there last night.)

But here comes the kicker: At this point I get to make a decision.

A. To hang on to the "grumbling, complaining and carping on the faults of everyone and everything,"

Or …

B. To live through this negative period and rediscover the limited value in human relationships.

Gems

With plan B, Adrian says, the person "will be delighted to discover many gems of sparkling beauty in the gray mud of selfishness which spreads itself through everyday human life."

OK, sports fans … I'm looking for those gems in the mud. Have you found any?

[Note: The quotes from Adrian van Kamm are from his books Self Direction (pages 416-417, 419) and Religion and Personality (page 153).]

3
Commentary

Comments: 3

William Noel
28 December 2012 at 3:11 pm

Harry,

Welcome back! I've been missing the refreshment from your insights and challenges from your questions.

A few weeks ago I discovered that we have a mutual friend who attends your church and I asked that he give you my e-mail address so we could communicate outside this forum about the ministry opportunity we discussed earlier. I would love to hear how God is blessing and guiding.

God wants to communicate with us far more frequently and in more ways that we often permit. My wife tells of one morning she was taking a walk and having a chat with God. In the caress of the warm breeze, the blooming of the flowers and the singing of the birds she felt like God was talking to her with the simple message, "I love you." It was the reassurance she needed to carry her through the challenges that followed in the next hours.

I used to pray pleading prayers asking God to solve a problem. Those prayers were infused with doubt about whether or not he actually would do it. Experiencing God's power in my ministry has changed those prayers into the question: "OK, God. What do you have planned as a solution for this situation?" God's answers have turned my old stress into the adventure of watching God work. I do not know how many people will show up for a project. Instead of stressing about that, I watch with anticipation to see whom God will send. He has always sent enough people with the right skills, tools and materials to get the job done. That has built my faith. Another blessing is enjoying the spirit of love God infuses into the team and how our conversations so easily express adoration to God for what He is doing and thanks to Him for allowing us to particiapte with Him. Several months ago I had a project where one person came. It was his first time. He wasn't even a member of the church yet. I don't remember our conversation being about anything directly spiritual because I was teaching him things like how to realign a screen door so it wouldn't keep swinging open. He has since begun leading a garden ministry that is intended to help feed the economically distressed in the church.

Yesterday I faced the challenge of replacing the water heater in our house. At Home Depot I was fortunate enough to get help from someone who knew the challenge, helped me find what I thought I needed and recommended a new product to help me. I was confident enough in my skills doing the work the old way that I declined her recommendation. We have a family joke that "no project is ever completed without at least three trips to Home Depot." The water heater job was no exception. I had specifically asked God to guide me before starting the work. After encountering a frustrating challenge to my skills I went back to the store to buy the recommended product. I was pleasantly surprised by the result. Seeing your question today reminded me that God sometimes speaks to us through others who may not even know they have become his mouthpiece.
Rudy Good
28 December 2012 at 7:42 pm

Peace is something we are promised and it is a fruit of the spirit. But, what exactly is that peace? Is it an emotional state? That doesn't seem probable since it is abundantly clear that our emotional stability (and health) are dependent on a large range of things that we cannot control or change. This includes genetic predispositions and permanent relationships.

We can find ourselves in deep conflict with church, family, and even colleagues. If we never have such moments of conflict there might be serious question about the principles we live by. If we have the conflict without stress then we may be arrogant an over confident in our opinion. Its hard to say that the lack of stressful conflict is necessarily the kind of peace we should expect.

Also, I believe it is a Godly trait to want to prevent and relieve the suffering we encounter on a daily basis. Is it reasonable for all personality types to be able to engage a suffering world without distress. I think not. So the kind of peace that we are promised does not guarantee everyone a distress free life. The peace may not manifest itself as extended periods of tranquility.

I do believe as the Spirit guides us in our spiritual journey we should grow in our awareness of God's goodness and sovereignty. This will give us a growing confidence that we can depend on Him and that should bring peace. It seems to me we need to be careful how we characterize this peace or some personality types might feel they are missing the promised peace and others may mistake the psychological capacity repress distressed reactions for God's peace.
Steve Tanner
30 December 2012 at 7:57 pm

Praise God for this article. I know this person knows what real peace is. Many in this world do not. God knows our problems before we take them to Him. He even knows our thoughts before we understand them. God is love. Learning to be patient and trust Him completly is the hard part

Comments are closed.

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