Editorial: “Why I Don’t Want to Be an Ex-Adventist”
There is little less attractive than someone who spends his or her life as an “ex.” Ex-spouse, ex-employee, or ex-Adventist—it doesn’t matter: it is unhealthy to spend your life having your identity be “the ex.”
Yes, it’s hard to break free from a strong loyalty. You grieve. You regret. You may even fume and hate for a while. The more you’ve invested in a relationship, the harder it is to let go, and the more time it takes to adjust to what, one should eventually accept, is the new normal. Even becoming a different type of Adventist, as I and many of my friends have done, requires effort.
There are several “ministries,” and at least one so-called psychohistorian, who specialize in being ex-Adventists. They talk about us—against us—constantly. They justify their obsession by saying that we Adventists need to be saved from the errors of our church.
In one way, they’re right: we are replete with errors. So many of them. But so are they. An important thing they forget is that there is more to one’s relationship with one’s church than doctrines.
Yet once it is clear that it is time to let go of a particular loyalty (and I don’t criticize anyone who decides to leave us), the most psychologically healthy attitude is to bend all of your energies in the direction of living in a positive frame of mind. This comes from no less an authority than the apostle Paul:
Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13-14, NIV).
Clearly many ex-Adventists have been deeply hurt, and to the extent that our church hurt them (and it does hurt people with some regularity), I apologize.
I choose not to be an ex-Adventist. This church has many things wrong with it. I can’t forget, though, that I learned about Jesus here, all of my Jesus-loving friends are here, I am grateful for the education I received here, and I can still make a difference for God here.
So can you. One excellent way is to contribute to Adventist Today using this link!
Loren Seibold, AT Executive Editor
14 December 2024
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