BREAKING SATIRE: Church Organist Prepares Special Rendition of ‘We Have This Hope’ for Election Night
Martha Pederson, long-time organist at the Echoville First Seventh-day Adventist Church, has announced her plans to perform a groundbreaking arrangement of “We Have This Hope” that she claims will unite divided church members during election night returns.
“I’ve incorporated both major and minor keys to represent the nation’s political divide,” explained Pederson, who has served as church organist since the Carter administration. “The arrangement starts in D minor to capture our current tensions, but triumphantly modulates to D major when we remember where our true hope lies.”
The innovative arrangement includes subtle musical references to both “The Star-Spangled Banner” and “Jesus Is Coming Again,” creating what Pederson describes as a “prophetically patriotic mashup.” She has also incorporated strategic pause points where election updates can be announced without disrupting the musical flow.
Musical Innovation
The piece opens with the organ’s softest stops, building gradually through a series of carefully crafted crescendos timed to coincide with swing state announcements. Pederson has masterfully woven in moments of tremolo for periods of electoral uncertainty, while saving the thunderous full-organ sound for key battleground state results.
Congregation Response
Initial rehearsals have received mixed reviews. Conservative members appreciate how the piece begins with traditional voicing, while progressive members favor the contemporary bridge section. However, all agree that Pederson’s decision to end with a full-organ glissando represents the perfect escape from earthly political concerns.
“I just hope people remember to sing the second verse,” Pederson added while adjusting her organ bench. “It’s not about red states or blue states—it’s about the New Jerusalem.”
The performance will be livestreamed on the church’s YouTube channel, though Pederson warns there may be slight delays as she plans to mute the organ briefly to check her phone for results from Florida.
This article originally appeared on BarelyAdventist, a humor and satire site for Adventists who believe in laughter.
