In a revolutionary approach to Adventist fellowship dining, the Pleasant Valley SDA Church has introduced a groundbreaking “Plausible Deniability Potluck” system designed to protect the identities of culinary contributors while maintaining strict compliance with new General Conference communication policies.

The New System

Under the innovative protocol, church members must now drop off their dishes through a series of unmarked doors at staggered intervals. Each dish passes through a complex relay system of deacons wearing blindfolds before reaching the fellowship hall table.

“It’s basically witness protection for your veggie meat,” explains Social Committee Chair Sarah Johnson, who later denied making this statement or even knowing what a committee is.

Security Measures

The church has implemented several layers of protection:
– All casserole dishes must be submitted in plain, unmarked containers
– Special haystacks assembly team operates behind a curtain
– Random dish placement protocol prevents pattern recognition
– Memory-wiping essential oils diffused throughout fellowship hall

Early Results

Initial feedback has been surprisingly positive. “Last Sabbath’s potluck was the best we’ve ever had,” reports one anonymous member. “When no one knows who made what, you can finally be honest about that mysterious green bean casserole without risking a diplomatic incident.”

Unexpected Benefits

The new system has led to several unforeseen advantages:
– Record-breaking attendance at fellowship meals
– Dramatic decrease in recipe-related passive-aggressive behavior
– Complete elimination of “But you must try MY dish” syndrome
– Sharp reduction in post-potluck gossip about cooking abilities

Official Guidelines

The church’s new “Potluck Security Protocol” manual includes such regulations as:
– All Little Debbie packaging must be destroyed before entering church grounds
– Special Ops training required for hospitality committee members
– Code names assigned for all known vegetarian meat products
– Emergency procedures for unauthorized recipe requests

Official Response

When asked about the program’s success, the head elder simply smiled enigmatically while adjusting his dark sunglasses and replied, “I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of last week’s chocolate cake.”

*Note: This article has been vetted by the Committee on Acceptable Potluck Narratives (CAPN). Any resemblance to actual dishes, living or deceased, is purely coincidental.*

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