The Generosity Dilemma
by Melody Tan | 10 July 2024 |
My son and I were walking down the main street of an inner-city neighbourhood when he remarked, “Mummy, there are a lot of homeless people here.”
It’s not often we are at the city. Our lives are in outer suburbia where people begging on the streets are not concealed, but rare. Here, however, in what felt like every few steps, sat a disheveled individual amid their bags of belongings, with a cup or bowl discreetly positioned in front of them.
“Can you give them some money?” my son continued. I shook my head and hurried him past the third homeless person on the street.
A few steps past a fifth rather down-and-out-looking soul, my son stopped so suddenly, I walked into him. He looked up at me and said somewhat shyly, “Mummy, I want to give him some money. I’ll use my own money.”
At that moment, I felt a strange mixture of pride and shame. I was proud of my son’s sweet, generous soul, but it served as a glaring indictment of my own selfishness. I was the one with a steady income and savings, but it was my seven-year-old who willingly gave up some of his precious birthday and Christmas money to share with someone else who needed it more.
They say children learn best by the behaviour modeled for them, but in that very moment, I was the one who needed teaching more.
We may have survived the COVID-19 pandemic but its fallout is still being felt. Economies around the world are struggling with inflation, and everyday individuals are facing the harsh realities of a cost-of-living crisis. The need for those who can give, to give, is stronger than before.
Even before my son’s latest act of charity, I have long struggled with the dilemma of being generous. Faced with someone’s dire need, I feel compelled to share, but where do I draw the line? Do I give all that I have without thought of the next bill I have to pay, contingencies to save for, luxuries to enjoy? When do I stop giving to someone I personally know who needs constant financial help? How much is too much or too little? When am I being generous, selfish, sensible, or faithful?
The God who has been insurmountably generous to me has called me to be generous to others in return. He has promised to bless me for my generosity, so am I lacking in faith when I decide to keep a little aside for a rainy day? Am I being selfish when my budget for charitable purposes is smaller than that for my annual family holiday? The feeling I should be giving more than I already am has turned into a guilt weighing on my conscience for a long time, but should it?
Researching the Bible for this article, I came across an interesting realisation. While there are specific verses that tell us to sell our “possessions and give to the poor,” there are also verses that simply call for us to have “pity on them” and “be kind..
There is an oft-quoted saying in charity circles that if you “give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” Simply giving away money to one poor individual may not be the most helpful thing to do without a strategy.
Perhaps being generous isn’t about wantonly parting with our money but simply being willing to do so, should it be the kinder thing to do. I’d like to think the act of being willing, should the need arise, goes towards proving that our hearts and hope are in God and not material possessions. Of course, the trick is to know what is the kinder thing to do. Even harder is to discover the strategy to help someone.
Does this revelation give me a guilt-free justification to turn a blind eye to the next homeless person I see? I hope not. Does this revelation make it easier for me to say no to a friend who is in a difficult financial situation? I don’t know.
At this stage, my seven-year-old cannot fully comprehend the complexities of charitable acts. For him, to give is to help. There will come a time when I will have to explain why providing someone with a “handout” may not be the long-term solution, but for now, I will encourage him to be generous, and perhaps ensure I put some money aside myself to model a behaviour I’d like him to continue.
Melody Tan is a freelance writer, content creator, and editor for both print and digital. She is currently the project leader of Mums At The Table, a multimedia initiative aimed at supporting mothers in their parenting journey, through education and community. She and her husband live in Sydney, Australia, with their seven-year-old son.