SATIRE: Southern Stops Fundraising as Student Fines Make Enough Money

COLLEGEDALE, Tennessee — In a first for Adventist educational institutions worldwide, Southern Adventist University’s Advancement Department has announced an end to all fundraising activities effective immediately. The decision was made possible by what Southern’s administration has described as a “torrent of revenue from student fines.” “Southern offers a generous menu of fineable offenses,” said Bubba […]