SATIRE – Report: Adventists WAY More Productive One Hour Before Friday Sunset

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Michigan — A major study into the lifestyles of Seventh-day Adventists has revealed that per-hour productivity of most church members skyrockets in the hour directly preceding Friday sunset. The research, conducted by the Andrews University Department of Behavioral Sciences, revealed that the firm housecleaning deadline faced by Adventists every Friday sunset inspires a […]