SATIRE: General Conference Clarifies: It’s “AD-ven-tist” Not “Ad-VEN-tist”
SILVER SPRING, Maryland — Earlier today, General Conference (GC) linguists brought clarity to a matter that has plagued Adventism for decades: the correct way to pronounce the word “Adventist.”
“The right way to say it has always been and will always be “AD-ventist” not “Ad-VEN-tist,” said GC spokesperson Hauju Seyit.
“For years, our church has suffered unjustly from the linguistically misguided both inside and outside the faith that incorrectly place the stress on the second syllable,” he said,
“That’s just painful.”
Seyit said that nobody calls the Advent the “Ad-VENT.” The stress is clearly on the first syllable.
He announced that the world membership of the church would be trained in the correct pronunciation of the church’s name.
“Nobody is going to know what to call us if Seventh-day Adventists themselves can’t get their name right.”
This article originally appeared on BarelyAdventist, a humor and satire site for Adventists who believe in laughter.
