SATIRE: Ethiopian Eunuch’s Rebaptism Required After Church Finds Out He Hadn’t Studied 28 Fundamentals
MIDDLE EAST — Fresh off a deeply meaningful baptism performed by Philip the Evangelist, the Ethiopian eunuch received news today that he would need to be rebaptized as he had not done a thorough study of the 28 fundamentals.
The letter from the eunuch’s local union office called the experience “too much of an impulse decision” and prescribed an extended doctrinal study before he could try again.
Given the eunuch’s busy itinerary, the union has allowed for the studies to take place via Bible correspondence course format as long as the eunuch can successfully pass a written exam at the end.
Philip, on the other hand, has received a letter of warning demanding he think through future baptisms he performs unless he wants to receive a verbal reprimand at a Council of Jerusalem.
This article originally appeared on BarelyAdventist, a humor and satire site for Adventists who believe in laughter.