SATIRE: Christian Intimacy Book, “The Adventist Missionary Position,” Hits Shelves
NAMPA, Idaho — In an attempt to counter secular guides to marriage intimacy, Pacific Press has released The Adventist Missionary Position. The publisher bills the book as being “jam-packed with helpful tidbits on the ins and outs of healthy Adventist marriage intimacy.” The volume lays bare secrets of marriage success from Adventist counselors, pastors, and academics that “would give Solomon himself a run for his money.” Pacific Press assures that it contains “only the most tasteful of genuinely necessary illustrations,” with the publisher having gone to great lengths to recruit the best Beasts of Revelation publishers for the task. An initial print run of 144,000 hits Adventist Book Center (ABC) shelves worldwide today. Books are available to customers that are able to produce their marriage certificates, bands, or watches at point of purchase.
This article originally appeared on BarelyAdventist, a humor and satire site for Adventists who believe in laughter.
