Left Out of the Celebration
by Mark Gutman
Some years ago I pastored in a conference where the ministerial director apparently had the wrong date listed for my birthday. Each year I would get a birthday card from him a month early. One year I explained to him that he apparently had marked the wrong date in his calendar, but for my next birthday I again received a card a month early. Good intention, even if wrong date.
Imagine that one year he decided not simply to send a card but to spring a surprise birthday party for me. A month before my birthday (but around the time that he thought was my birthday) he showed up at my house and asked if we could visit a certain church member. Unsuspecting, I took him to visit the member. As we walked through the front door, several of my church members started singing "Happy Birthday," puzzling me until I suddenly put the picture together: my ministerial director was pulling off a surprise for me on what he thought was my birthday. I could live with the incorrect date and appreciate that he was trying to do something nice for me.
But there were some oddities about my birthday party. For instance, after the song (Happy Birthday) ended, nobody spoke to me. The people in the house were all chatting together in twos or threes, but nobody made any attempt to include me in the conversation. Another odd thing: I’m a diabetic, and usually the church members would take that into account at social occasions, but all the food at this party was loaded with sugar and fat, and I couldn’t see any food that looked as if it had been prepared with me in mind. Despite my bewilderment that I was being ignored and that my special needs had not been considered when the food was provided, I was cheered by one thought. I saw several presents over in the corner under a spruce tree, and I realized that I wasn’t going to come away empty or completely ignored.
After the talking and eating had gone on for awhile, leaving me out, I saw a large man in a red suit enter the room and walk over to the pile of presents. I braced myself because I knew this would be awkward for me, being singled out and given all these gifts. The man in the red suit picked up a package, looked at a sticker on it, and announced that it was for one of the other folks in the room – not for me. I chided myself for expecting to receive all the presents. That really was a selfish thought, and I mentally conceded that it was a good idea to spread the presents around. But as present after present was handed out, I began to wonder if my name would ever be called to get one of the goodies. As the last package was handed out, I had to face the fact that not one of the gifts had been for me!
So (if this had actually happened) I could reflect on how they were celebrating my birthday – er, what was supposed to be my birthday. Nobody paid any attention to me, nobody thought of me when it came to the food, and nobody gave me any presents.
If you haven’t run ahead of me already, I’ll tell you that this imaginary birthday party actually takes place every year. It has to do with what is usually called Christmas. Never mind that Jesus probably wasn’t born on December 25; at least people are paying attention to the fact that he was born. But the conversation related to Christmas doesn’t usually feature Jesus. More likely topics are what food will be eaten, what kind of vacation might be taken, or what kind of entertainment can be enjoyed. Or what we’re going to get. Or, depressingly, what we have to get for someone else. And when it comes to food, instead of providing food that would leave us in a condition to be better able to read about Jesus or talk with him, people tend to load up on what actually leaves them less able and less likely to spend time having anything to do with Jesus.
But then there are presents. Except that presents are generally given to people who will return the favor. (I know – parents give gifts to children, but the gifts often supply what the children would get anyway, simply narrowing down the time in which the items will be presented.) Have you ever gotten a gift from someone to whom you had not given a gift, and had the awful thought, “Oh no, what do I do now?” A similar unpleasant feeling can come from being given a much better gift than you gave to the giver. In other words, gift “giving” is usually more like exchanging, or trading.
How about making Christmas a time for celebrating Jesus’ birth? Not celebrating it the way my birthday was celebrated, but celebrating it the way birthdays are supposed to be celebrated – honoring the person whose birthday is featured. We may not have the right date, but at least we are celebrating the fact that Jesus was born. Instead of leaving him out of all the conversations, though, we could make sure that we take more time to talk with him than usual. (Some people refer to talking to him as “prayer.”) And instead of loading up on food so that we are less likely to be healthy, how about being careful that we don’t overdo the eating or overdo eating the wrong foods?
But giving presents to Jesus? How do we do that? In Matthew 25, Jesus tells of surprised people who are being praised for helping him out, and they ask, “When did we do that?” They are told that when they were helping “the least,” they were helping him, and providing food and clothes and companionship for people who need them. Nowadays, of course, we can take care of that by giving to the local community service center, which tends to keep us at a “safe” distance from the folks who need our personal attention as much as they need our money. If we actually mix with those who need our help, we can often do what money passed through tax-deductible channels doesn’t do. If you don’t know needy people, you can ask your pastor or county agencies for suggestions of people you might be able to help.
Christmas is a social holiday, and the Bible nowhere tells us to celebrate it, let alone how. And it would probably cause problems for many if they stayed away from some social events or didn’t exchange gifts. After all, even Jesus went to parties. But we can takes steps to make our Christmas celebration a little more celebration of Jesus’ birthday and a little less of the commercial, overeating, ignoring-the-needy holiday “spirit” that typifies much of the Christmas season. Instead of puzzling the one who was told his birthday is being celebrated, let’s show that we really care about him, helping make us and others healthier and happier.
Could it be that the SDA church has for so long repeatedly informed its members that it isn't Christ's birthday that they have simply decided to celebrate as everyone else does:
a tree, presents, great food and a happy family time? There could be worse things to celebrate.
As an aside, how many times has it been said that sabbath is God's birthday? So, which is it we should celebrate? In both cases, we cannot know the exact day of each.
Elaine,
God cannot have a "birthday." (I'm sure you know this! 🙂 We could however say, "It is the Earths Birthday on Sabbath, once a week."
For many years the small country church I attended as a teenager religiously 🙂 avoided having a Christmas sermon and restricted carol singing, if it occurred at all, to Sabbath School. But we always had a Christmas party with a tree and presents for the kids, and we would sing a dozen or more of the 'pagan' carols during the evening. I was probably about 15 when I first wondered why we celebrated the secular part but not the religious part. Someone did set me straight: Christmas was pagan, so we couldn't do it in church, but Christmas was also a social occasion, and having the Christmas party was a way of building Christian community among the members. Or, to put it more bluntly (as I figured out a few years later), most members wanted to commemorate Christmas, but a few of the older 'saints' would not permit it, hence the compromise.
Great Blog!
The relevance of Christ, even on a ‘make believe’ day to celebrate His Birth, within the context of the Christmas Season, simply just cannot be ignored and is an important one at that in which it makes good sense for the ‘Birthday Boy’ 1] to receive the gifts, 2] get more quality time with us during this time, 3] get to do the things that he would enjoy, 4] be the central focus of the celebration and 5] be very much included in the event itself. It is so easy to get all caught up in the festivity of the nativity and overlook the Christ within all of this overwhelming yearend frivolity and revelry. Worse still is to avoid acknowledging who Jesus is, why He was born and that His wonderful name means ‘Saviour’ Matt 1:21. We see it year after year – after year. Although it will be quite impossible to tell what really goes on in the hearts of others, one can easily notice by their actions where their priorities lie.
Fortunately for the less fortunate, not all people are this way: the givers always continue giving – by default – with no strings attached. It seems that the Season that has been set aside to remember His birth is ballooned and commercialized so much so that if left unguarded, will often result in Christ been shunted into an obscure corner of the recesses of our minds, which in turn, reflects a bad case of chronic ‘No Room in the Inn Syndrome’. Even the flood of ads on TV have Santa, Christmas Lights, Reindeer and Snowmen but purposefully leave out – you know who. Moreover, this occurs not just during Christmas time but throughout the year when our Lord and Saviour is given second place in our hearts – at best. I think of the fig tree which flaunted much leaves but bore no fruit for the Master to eat when He was hungry Mark 11:12, 13. Or perhaps, that in Rev 3:20 Jesus knocks on the door of the hearts of those supposedly rich and increased with goods but who seem to think they are doing so well that they have no need for the Saviour who waits patiently on the OUTSIDE.
Furthermore, we find that Jesus indentifies also with the ‘least of these’ in Matt 25:40. It is hard for me to imagine that there may be Christians out there who do not know anyone who is poor or haven’t seen someone eating out of garbage cans or begging on the street. Even in the First World the ‘least of these’ can be found – like those on ‘skid row’ perhaps. The fact that God ‘gave’ His Son to an undeserving reprobate world should compel us to give unconditionally to those in need. The ‘don’t give handouts’ argument within this context takes the Scrooge off-ramp and unselfishness emerges in the spirit of giving as seen in John 3:16 – with no strings attached of course. So this year too (once again) the Christmas shopping queues and partying queues and eating queues and booze queues were still much longer than the feed the poor queues, wasn’t it? Have we left the ‘Birthday Boy’ out again? I would say so… Dang!