Editorial: “Am I a Better Parent than God?”
The first day of my oldest child’s life I snuggled her in my hospital bed and began to tell her Bible stories. I started with Noah’s Ark—but stopped because the story begins with the death of everyone in the world except Noah’s family. I moved to David and Goliath but stopped because it’s about a fight to the death.
I tried Moses, Samson, Abraham, but I realized every story I tried to tell had some kind of element in it that isn’t really appropriate for children.
And that was the beginning of how having children influenced my view of God.
As my children aged, they had behaviors I didn’t like. But the older they got, and the more I got to know them, the more I realized that their behaviors are a reflection of something they need support with, not something they needed to be punished for.
I stopped treating my children in a purely authoritarian way, and began seeing us in a relationship with me, a person with more experience in this world, teaching and modeling for them how to get along. I’m not an authority over them, so much as a guide, helping them understand how to navigate this complicated world.
It also completely changed my view of God. The God I had been taught most of my young life was said to be loving, but was very authoritative—mysterious and baffling, and to be obeyed no matter the cost, often without any explanation.
But I don’t expect unquestioning obedience from my children. Why would I teach my children to follow authority without question? That’s the exact opposite of the critical thinking I hope they are learning to do. I don’t do things that hurt them and then say “Parents work in mysterious ways” as an explanation. If I treated my children the way I had been taught God treats his children, I would not be a very good parent.
I realize that my understanding of God was flawed: there’s no way I’m a better parent than God. God is good, kind, and understanding. And that’s the kind of parent I try to be, too.
Lindsey Abston Painter
Editor and Writer, Adventist Today
4 May 2024
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