Editorial: Upon Discovering Myself to Be a Judgmental Jerk

I’ve always thought I was a person who doesn’t judge others. But lately I’ve been paying closer attention—and discovered that I, too, am judgmental.

For example, I am a lover of all things nerdy—I love Star Trek and Dr. Who, and video games, and many other things some people roll their eyes about. I don’t like being judged for loving the things I love. But around the time of the Super Bowl I discovered, to my surprise, that I have kind of a judgy attitude about people who are sports fanatics!

There are a lot of problematic elements to sports culture, and professional football specifically, but it is hypocritical of me to judge people who feel passionately about something I don’t feel passionate about. So I had to have a little internal talk with myself:

“Lindsey, if you want people to accept your weird little interests, you’d better allow them to have their arguably less weird and much larger interests without judgment. Also, there are a lot of problematic elements to video gaming culture too. So you can’t use ‘problematic elements’ as a criteria for being judgmental about sports culture.”

I discovered that many of my internal biases are about things I don’t like but don’t really harm anyone. Like, I roll my eyes when I see someone dropping their kid off at middle school in a pickup truck with enormous tires that’s been lifted so high the kid practically needs a ladder to get out. And then I have to have that talk with myself again.

]When I discover something I didn’t realize I was being judgmental about, I ask myself the following questions:

• Does this behavior hurt anyone?
• Would this behavior interfere with someone having relationships with their family, their community, or God?
• Do I have any comparable behaviors that I hate being judged for?
• Does this behavior bring the person joy?

I usually discover that my judgment is just me being a jerk. So I hereby apologize to all the sports fans, and the owners of lifted trucks out there. I am intentionally unlearning my biases.

And I can only hope that others of you will join me in unlearning your biases. Maybe together, following the example of Jesus, we can make a more accepting and inclusive world.

Lindsey Abston Painter
Writer & editor, Adventist Today
2 March 2024