Authority and Fear vs Service and Love
by Don Watson
In the Gospel according to Matthew, Jesus shares a cornerstone principle of all our day-to-day relationships. “But Jesus called them unto him, and said, ‘You know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and those who are great exercise authority upon them. But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your servant.’” Matthew 20:25-26
Interesting concept. Rarely practiced by those of us who say we follow Jesus. Whether it is one of your employees, one of your children, your spouse, your neighbor, a fellow church member, or the kids that you coach on your soccer team, Jesus calls us to use service rather than authority as the basis for all our relationships. As sons and daughters of God, we mirror Jesus Himself – the Servant of servants.
But down deep inside, I think we believe that God operates on the basis of authority. He says “Thou shalt not” and expects us to obey or suffer the consequences. In our minds, authority and fear are the ways God ultimately gets what He wants. After all, He has the thunderbolts – not to speak of hell – hence, pretty much a monopoly on the fear and authority market. So it’s no wonder that many believe authority, intimidation, and fear SHOULD be the way we operate. We have come to believe that authority and fear are not merely beneficial but necessary to accomplish what we feel is righteous or important to the success of the church, community, home, or workplace. In fact, isn’t it true that we believe the level of authority we possess enables us to accomplish more good or be more successful, because there are more people under our power and subject to our authority – a huge factor why so many of us seek out recognition and promotion. And when we get these promotions this is what our leadership all too often looks like.
An employee is late for work – we write them up (intimidation and fear). You sit comfortably on the couch supervising your curious one-year-old. He is about to grab one of your expensive Lladro figurines on the book shelf. You sternly bark out, “No!” He grabs the cat’s tail – “No!” He finds a small piece of cookie on the floor – again, “No!” In a church board meeting it is obvious that the youth department is heading in a direction that is completely in opposition to church board policies, so we let them know that their request is against policy and cannot be granted. You bench your quarterback after he goes for a “hail Mary” instead of faking a pass then executing a draw. Or your wife buys something you don’t approve of, so you close out her charge account for 6 months to teach her a lesson.
If you think about it, even our harsh, impatient words to a coworker or family member is “missing the mark” and reverting to authority rather than service. I’m not saying that discipline is never appropriate, but the intent of everything we do should be to help and serve every person we meet or do life with. Wanting to control others to accomplish our own purposes goes so far beyond our mere actions. It reaches to our deepest motives. Eliminating control from our relationships is not hard; it is not difficult, it is IMPOSSIBLE! We know we are right, they are out of line and we have the power and authority to correct them, make them change, or eliminate them. Consider Jesus, the Son of God, King of the Universe, having all the power of divinity at His disposal, yet He allowed Pilate to scourge Him, Caiaphas, the High Priest to falsely accuse Him, Judas to betray Him and Roman Soldiers to crucify Him. When Simon, the Pharisee, was judging and condemning Mary, Jesus could have publicly exposed and humiliated Him, but instead Jesus SERVED Him, and helped Him to see Mary’s value in the sight of Heaven. That’s always God’s purpose – to bring about our change and obedience because it will benefit us – not because He will hurt us. God is always about our happiness, NOT His reputation. In short, God is never about God, God is always about US! But like I said, “It is impossible for us to duplicate this kind of unselfishness. It is impossible to root out control and intimidation from the way we relate to the people around us. But Jesus did and Jesus will come inside of you and live His perfect resurrected life IN YOU! All you have to do is ask Him to show you the areas in your life where you seek to control and rule over others and then ask Him to serve these people through you instead.
For instance: I’d like to suggest that Jesus is calling us to serve our little children, patiently, explaining why the thing we ask of them is for THEIR good and THEIR happiness. Rather than controlling them, get down there and play with them. Rather than intimidating them by barking out our boundaries, take the time to explain the benefits of staying inside the fence. Be their servant. It should never be about our authority or them proving their love and loyalty to us. Never should the words come out of our mouths, “Because I said so!” God always wants us to know obedience is about us and the abundant life He wants to give to us. But remember, this is not difficult, it is impossible. So ask Jesus to come inside you and serve your little children.
Jesus is calling us to serve our co-workers, employees, and bosses. Never should the principle of authority enter into our dealings with each other. Pleasing your boss because he has power or control over you will adulterate your relationship. Find out what your boss needs to serve the people in his department or business and then serve him – join him to help him serve others. If you are the boss, then operate totally on the principle of service to your employees. Spend time with them. Show them why what you’re asking will be a means to bless and serve others. It is the only way to truly create a team where everyone seeks to serve each other and their customers. If you utilize fear and imposed accountability, employees may seem to cooperate while you’re watching or monitoring, but when you’re not there, when you’re not looking, they will do exactly as they please. If you take the time, in relationship, to discover together how you as a church or corporation or family can best serve each other and others, the entire organization will serve whether anyone is looking or not. But remember this is not difficult, it is impossible. So ask Jesus to come inside you and serve the people you work with through you.
If someone refuses to cooperate, you may need to terminate their employment, but you can do so without any threats. The two of you have a different approach to customer service. You can truly wish your employee well as they pursue their career someplace that will fit their philosophy. Even in termination you are serving your employee.
Or you may discover that your employee may not have the skills to serve effectively where they are at. They may realize they can’t do the job well, but are afraid because of your power to fire them and remove their only source of support for their family. But instead of exercising power to eliminate them, be their servant. You might want to move them or train them so they can be successful. But everything you do is for their good, but NEVER to establish your authority or power over them. Just like Jesus, everything is about others! Just keep asking Jesus to serve others through you.
What would happen as a nation if America’s foreign policy was directed at serving other nations instead of punishing them, forcing them, or destroying them. What if soldiers invaded problem nations to serve them instead of to conquer or subjugate them? Certainly, there would still be casualties, but like Jesus, those casualties would result in salvation and a more lasting peace than violence has ever accomplished. Gandhi discovered it and changed India. Martin Luther King Jr. implemented it and changed America forever. Was it expensive? Very! But it was worth the sacrifice. Jesus, of course, WAS it – He WAS love and service – and His love and service changed the entire human race. We are redeemed! We are saved! So now, He calls us NOT to establish our authority over anyone, but to serve them in love. I challenge you to explore with your own personal relationship with Jesus, how you can exercise love and serve people, rather than exercise authority in order to control them. Then ask Him to do it THROUGH YOU!
Don,
Once again, you have hit the proverbial nail sharply on the head.
One of the lessons God has taught me in my helping ministry is to depend totally on God instead of trying to force things to happen and control events. I used to go recruiting people and get stressed when I had no idea of how many people might be coming to help. Now watching to see who God sends is part of the adventure of working with Him along with seeing what tools and skills they bring to accomplish the work before us. Sunday was another in a growing list of such events.
Often the greatest opportunities God gives us to share His love is inside our own church family. On Sunday my ministery team was at the home of a widow. Her late husband had typically cared for the yard, but failing health kept him from doing much in the last couple years. The yard showed the neglect. Four people came to help, including a couple with some heavy-duty tools that were just what we needed to tackle some of the challenges. We didn't do everything on the list, but we made a visible difference. So needs remain that will make return visits necessary. She was delighted and very appreciative. What we were doing got the attention of her 21 year-old daughter. She had heard I was coming but was surprised to see I had helpers. She was so impressed that she asked to be put on my e-mail list so she could help in the future.
What blessed me as much as the widow's gratitude was the comments from my volunteers, all of whom celebrated the opportunity to serve. One, a first-time worker, had to leave early. I had not left the house before he sent me a text message thanking me for allowing him to serve. We spoke on the phone later that day and again last night. Both times he shared how much he had been blessed by the opportunity to help someone, that he wanted to help again in the future and that he wanted his wife and children to be involved, too.
Hearing that touched my heart and reminded me of the truth in your words about Jesus being love and service. Huge blessings await us when we let God's love motivate us to become involved in serving others.
One last thing: I didn't have to control anyone. All I had to do was make people aware of the need, tell them the priority tasks and let them get to work. God motivated and guided them. God gave them wisdom to distinguish between a flowering plant worth keeping and a weed to be pulled. God showed them how to install rubber flower bed edging that they had never installed before. I was cleaning the gutters. Sometimes I would walk past just to check progress and find myself standing there amazed by what I was seeing happen. The spirit of joy in serving was infectious. There was never a cross word and no one was leaning on a shovel to keep it from falling over. I ask people to give a few hours out of their Sunday, not the whole day. I think they would gladly have kept going if I hadn't called a halt at a progress milestone.
Can you see why I've become addicted to the ministry God has given me?
My hat is off to you for contributing this article and the principles it upholds. However, I have somewhat against thee. "Authority" should not be confused with "authoritarian." Authority is a good and necessary element. Its unpleasant cousin "authoritarianism" is the innappropriate use of authority as a means of control. Authority is generative while authoritarianism is destructive.
The free use of authoritarian behavior is the primary contributor to the creation of an attitude of resistance to authority by Postmoderns. Care should be taken for in the process of washing the baby we may throw the bbaby out with the bathwater. The meaning of words is a ptecious trust.
It is also a precious gift to have the trust of millions and to have it abused. There should be no authority in the church other than what God has directed. With declining religion in the U.S. today, there is more need for nurture and love than authoritarian voices telling the members what to believe and how to act.
" The free use of authoritarian behavior is the primary contributor to the creation of an attitude of resistance to authority by Postmoderns"
I would agree with the above, although the term "postmodern" is a labeling that is not easy to define and can mean anything someone doesn't agree with. There is much we can learn from "postmoderism" as a church as well as things to avoid. There are concepts in our theology and practices that could draw those in this camp if we weren't afraid of association with such "sinners."
I appreciate the sentiment underlying this blog. But when I see someone employing a series of false choices to arrive at a conclusion, my antennae go up.
Authority and fear do not go hand in hand; nor are they inherently at enmity with love and service.
This blog sets up a false dichotomy in order to create an extreme moral imperative.I agree with Stanley that one must differentiate between authoritarianism on the one hand, and the legitimate and necessary exercise of the authority inherent in hierarchical structures of society, on the other. I strongly disagree with the notion that, in an earthly kingdom, the servant model should be applied to every relationship and situation.
The secular morality of radical egalitariansim should not tempt us to use Christian symbols like servanthood as tools to repudiate the hierarchical structures that are necessary for stability in society. Neither should it deter us from discharging, with courage and conviction, the responsibilities of those offices and roles when we are called to occupy them. The "servant" metaphor, like all metaphors, has its limitations, and is best applied to relationships among believers. St. Paul had no difficulty exercising authority within the early church. Jesus did not always exhibit the servant model, particularly not when confronting those powers and institutions that obscured the view of God's Kingdom.