Aunty, I’m under pressure in my church employment, because “it’s for God!” Sometimes it feels abusive.
8 April 2024 |
Dear Aunt Sevvy,
I’ve heard Adventist administrators and others remind their overworked staff that they work for God, not the church or school, as the case may be.
While technically true, it seems like an excuse to justify unreasonable expectations. Honestly, sometimes it has felt to me like spiritual abuse. Am I overreacting?
Signed, Is This Christian Toxicity?
Dear Toxicity?:
Being employed by the church is a mixed bag. On one hand, you get to preach or teach about Jesus and shape people’s lives, which is why most church workers choose these careers.
On the other hand, it becomes very tempting to use guilt as a motivator. One teacher told Aunty, “The joy of teaching has been diminished for me because of the way we’re constantly reminded that all these little souls are in our care and we’ll be responsible if they’re lost.” A pastor friend says, “I always come home from pastors’ meetings feeling far worse than when I went, because the expressed expectations are so high. Am I doing well enough? The implication is I’m not, but who knows?”
The very first lesson a church worker has to learn, if they want to be successful, is to let those unhelpful “motivators” go in one ear and out the other. If you can’t achieve that, you will have an unhappy life. You must be thoroughly convinced that it is God who brings the fruit, and if you’re doing your best, God will provide.
That said, Aunty does believe that some settings are too toxic for sincere, talented, well-meaning professionals. Aunty has always told potential church workers in training that the best way to deal with this tension is to have training for another career in reserve, something you can fall back on so you don’t feel like you are trapped in bad employment situations.
Aunt Sevvy
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