SATIRE: GC Announces Portuguese as Official Language of Heaven, Effective Immediately
SILVER SPRING, Maryland — In a development that has left translators scrambling and English Sabbath School teachers nervously clutching their lesson quarterlies, the General Conference (GC) announced today that Portuguese will now be recognized as the official language of heaven. The announcement came just hours after the election of Erton Köhler, the first Brazilian to […]
St. Louis GC Session 2025, Day 2: Treasurer’s Report & Nominating Committee
by Loren Seibold | 4 July 2025 | This afternoon kicked off with the report from General Conference (GC) treasurer Paul Douglas. Short version: the church is making good money. Slightly longer version, courtesy of Bjorn: World tithe is up about 16% over the last five years. World tithe is over $3 billion annually. Douglas […]
Erton C. Köhler Elected General Conference President
4 July 2025 | On July 4, 2025, Erton C. Köhler was elected to be president of the General Conference of the Seventh-day Adventist world church. Köhler is transitioning from his role as executive secretary for the General Conference. The Southern Brazil native served as advisor to the Office of Adventist Mission; the Office of […]
St. Louis GC Session 2025, Day 1½: the Secretariat, and More
by Loren Seibold | 4 July 2025 | Happy Independence Day, Americans! We kicked off the morning with the anti-vaxxers trying to bring up the same stuff they lost on yesterday. This was a result of Elder Wilson’s backpedaling on what he said yesterday. Indeed, he was correct in—but he was also wrong, because what […]
LIVE: Day 2 Updates from GC Session 2025 in St. Louis
Hi, I’m Bjorn Karlman, AT exec director, and I’ll be providing live updates for day two of the 62nd General Conference (GC) Session. Thanks for joining us!
St. Louis GC Session 2025: Of Course, It’s About Vaccinations!
by Loren Seibold | 3 July 2025 | All denominational meetings I’ve ever attended are a mishmash of three things. First, there is the business—the hiring, the committees, the Church Manual changes, the policy updates. Second, there are promotional items: that is, promoting things that the General Conference (GC) is doing to help us and […]
LIVE: GC Session 2025 – Day 1 Kicks Off in St. Louis
LIVE: GC Session 2025 – Day 1 Kicks Off in St. Louis Welcome to Adventist Today’s live updates from the 62nd General Conference Session in St. Louis, Missouri, as this historic event unfolds. Business wraps with a prayer. Everyone is hungry. [5:31 PM CDT] – A list of 277 nominating committee names was quickly […]
St. Louis GC Session 2025: Day ½
by Loren Seibold | 3 July 2025 | This is the first General Conference (GC) session I’ve ever attended. I always thought some conference, some time, would send me as a delegate. I thought I would have risen in the ranks, as many of my friends did, to be a conference or a union conference […]
SATIRE: GC President Selection to Be Confirmed via Smoke Signals
ST. LOUIS, Missouri – The General Conference (GC) announced that the selection of its next president will be confirmed through traditional smoke signals emanating from the America’s Center Convention Complex in St. Louis during the July 3-12 GC Session. The decision enables what administrators call “a time-tested communication method.” White smoke will signal successful presidential […]
ATSS: Michael Scofield, “The Rise & Fall of Adventist Publishing”
2 July 2025 | The Adventist publishing “industry” is 170 years old. Publishing was vigorous even before Adventist education and healthcare began to expand. In an effort to reach the whole world “in this generation,” publishing houses and journals were established all over the world, ever adding more languages whenever possible. Books and journals provide […]