Drink Deeply, O Lovers!
by Jim Burklo | 26 March 2025 |
In the Roman empire, sexual abuse was rampant. Male slave-owners regularly raped their male and female slaves. “Homosexuality” did not exist as a distinct social category at the time: it was common for otherwise heterosexual men to engage occasionally in homosexual acts. Consensual, committed, long-term homosexual relationships were vanishingly rare. Men were the absolute rulers of their households, and women and children had no recourse if they were sexually assaulted by them.
In this milieu, Christian communities, with their strict sexual ethics, offered a very welcome respite. In their time, early Christians were progressive in their embrace of kindness and respect in sexual relationships, and this was a major reason that people were attracted to the faith.
Thankfully, the rampant abuse that prevailed in the Roman empire is not nearly as tolerated in Western countries today. Slavery is banned, and at least in some countries, we have a legal system to which we can turn in cases of abuse. Committed same-sex relationships are common, and are as deeply loving as relationships outside of traditional marriage.
We are living in a very different world than the one in which Christianity first emerged, so it isn’t appropriate to apply all the same standards that the early church imposed. Too much of Christianity is in the grip of a sexual purity cult that separates our sexuality from our spirituality and locks people into scriptural chastity belts. We must extrapolate from Jesus’ example and message of divine compassion, and sort out for ourselves a sane and compassionate sexual ethic for our time.
At its best, sex is divine: an out-of-ego experience of physical and spiritual union with an other that can deliver us into union with The Other. Our faith can elevate our sexuality into a sacrament:
Eat, O friends, and drink:
drink deeply, O lovers! I slept, but my heart was awake.
Hark! my beloved is knocking.
“Open to me, my sister, my love,
my dove, my perfect one;
for my head is wet with dew,
my locks with the drops of the night.”
Song of Solomon 5: 1-2
The Song of Solomon is a steamy romance between a man and a woman. For thousands of years, Jewish and Christian theologians attempted to denature the Song of Solomon into an allegory about God’s love for humanity. God was the lover, and human beings were the beloved. This was a creative interpretation of the text but certainly not the first meaning that leaps off the pages.
Yet this spiritual, symbolic hearing of the Song was more than just an attempt to downplay its earthy sexuality. Across religious boundaries, there is a long tradition of blurring the distinction between human and divine love.
The medieval Sufi poet, Rumi, put it this way:
Lovers share a sacred decree –
to seek the Beloved.
They roll head over heels,
rushing toward the Beautiful One
like a torrent of water.
Is the Beloved a man or a woman? Is God the Beautiful One, or is it the lover’s partner? Once we fall into the torrent of love, might we be carried away into the very heart of God? Whether it was God that made you head over heels in love in the first place, or another human being, is it not God into whom you will tumble, in the end?
There is a moment when lovers can become one with each other and with God in an ineffable ecstasy that includes but transcends the physical manifestations of orgasm. When there is deep respect, safety, and trust in sexual intimacy, it can be a path to the divine.
Jim Burklo is an ordained United Church of Christ pastor. In 2022 he retired after 14 years as the Senior Associate Dean of Religious and Spiritual Life at the University of Southern California. He now serves as pastor of the United Church of Christ in Simi Valley, California. He also serves as executive director of Progressive Christians Uniting/ZOE: Progressive Christian Life on Campus, a national network of progressive Christian campus ministry groups. Jim is the author of seven published books on progressive faith: the latest is Tenderly Calling: An Invitation to the Way of Jesus (St Johann Press, 2021). His weekly blog, “Musings,” has a global audience. Jim and his wife, Roberta, live in Ojai, California.
