SATIRE: By 2040, 98% of Adventists Projected to Be Kindly Grandmas Inquiring About Your Relationship Status
SILVER SPRING, Maryland — New projections from the Adventist Statistics, Trends & Reports (ASTR) department suggest a demographic tipping point: if trends persist, every Adventist congregation will soon consist almost entirely of sweet-tempered grandmothers determined to ask single members if they’ve “found a nice Adventist to marry yet.” Analysts tracking falling baptism rates and brisk […]