ST. LOUIS, Missouri – The General Conference (GC) announced that the selection of its next president will be confirmed through traditional smoke signals emanating from the America’s Center Convention Complex in St. Louis during the July 3-12 GC Session.

The decision enables what administrators call “a time-tested communication method.” White smoke will signal successful presidential selection, while black smoke indicates the need for additional prayer, deliberation, and manipulation.

“We’ve observed the Vatican’s centuries-old practice and believe this approach will eliminate confusion during our quinquennial leadership transitions,” explained GC Secretary Puffington Smokesworth. “The addition of a ceremonial chimney and smoke simply provides better transparency to the 100,000 expected attendees in St. Louis.”

The new protocol will utilize a specially installed furnace system in the convention center, burning the ballots of the 268 nominating committee members as well as a few George Knight books after each vote. Church officials have developed their own chemical formula for smoke production, combining potassium perchlorate with the tears of Adventist progressives and what sources describe as “sanctified anthracene and sulfur blessed during morning devotions.”

The announcement has sparked mixed reactions among delegates preparing for the July Session. Some veteran administrators worry the process may conflict with Adventist principles regarding Catholic traditions, while others appreciate the visual clarity it will provide to those attending the session.

The General Conference has assured members that the smoke signals will not be caused by candidates’ smoking behind the convention platform, but will serve as an advance notification system before the official announcement “Habemus Presidentum” can be made from the lectern.