“This, Right Here, Is Church”
by Melody Tan | 15 May 2025 |
The camera operator turned to me. “This, right here, is church,” he declared.
We were sitting at the outside area of a shopping mall, watching a group of women interact. Among them was a recent immigrant who had her first child not long after arriving, without any family support nearby or even familiarity of the area where she lived. There was also a shy single mum, and another woman who had experienced rejection from her church family because of certain decisions she’d made.
Then there was the woman who made it all possible.
Every month or so, she would organise a “dessert night” at the local shopping mall for the mums in the community, and tonight was one of those nights. She’s never sure who will turn up for these events—it’s an open invite in the Facebook group she moderates—although there was a core group of regulars, women whom she’s become good friends with through running dessert nights and other events over the past two years.
Tonight, two camera operators and I were there for dessert night because we wanted to capture the occasion for a story we were producing. One of the camera operators came up with his conclusion after witnessing the warm welcome hugs, the easy conversation, and the laughter that ensued within minutes of our arrival. What we saw was a supportive and loving community, thanks to the dedication and sacrifice of Mums At The Table volunteer moderators.
As the project leader for Mums At The Table, what I observed was the kind of church I have always dreamed we would have. It was a place where people were accepted without judgement, where our main aim is to offer support and provide love to those who need it the most.
The loneliness pandemic
Motherhood can be one of the most fulfilling and yet most isolating experiences a woman can have. It’s become easier than before to be global citizens but more difficult than before to raise children in a village—a loving community that you trust and where you feel supported—unless you already belong to one, like a church.
Twenty-five years ago, I moved from the country I grew up in, to one where I didn’t know a single soul. I moved again three years later, to yet another country, once again without knowing anybody at my new destination. However, I had the privilege of being a Seventh-day Adventist, part of a global movement where I found immediate acceptance no matter which church I walked into.
So almost nine years ago, when I became pregnant, even though I didn’t have my real family nearby, I had a church family who celebrated with me. When I gave birth, I had a church family who cooked me copious amounts of food that I could freeze, food that my husband and I could just heat up and consume in our sleep-deprived state. When I was at my wits’ end about my baby’s behaviour, my church family supported me.
Especially since I’m a high introvert, my story would likely be very different if I hadn’t had a church to go to where I could inevitably make some kind of connection with someone because we at least had faith beliefs in common. My story may have taken an even more isolated turn when I became a mum because I probably wouldn’t have even had time to create a social life for myself because my life is so filled with managing that of my little overlord, I mean, child.
Without the security blanket of a church, finding a community—your village, your tribe—can be difficult. It’s hardly surprising that in November 2023, the World Health Organization declared loneliness a “global public health concern” and launched an international commission to study the problem.
“One who desired their good”
“Christ’s method alone will give true success in reaching the people. The Savior mingled with people as one who desired their good. He showed sympathy for them, ministered to their needs, and won their confidence. Then He invited them, ‘Follow Me,’” Ellen White wrote in The Ministry of Health and Healing.
That has been one of the guiding principles for Mums At The Table. We exist to serve mums craving community, to be the church they didn’t know they were looking for. It’s a formula we have found to work because the women we’ve encountered are more interested in finding a friend than what the beasts in the book of Daniel represent.
Don’t get me wrong. Biblical knowledge is important, as is a relationship with Jesus, but that information is probably more palatable when received from a friend than a random from the street. When should that information be shared? That would be up to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, and there’s no timeline for that. Our priority is to minister to the needs of those we meet.
My own journey—from exposure to Christianity to following Jesus—took over four years, not for lack of trying by many faithful Christians, my parents included. Yet, I needed to be open to Jesus on my own terms and in my own time. Thankfully, when the Holy Spirit’s promptings finally cut through my stubborn heart, within my circle was a community of Christians, people I called friends, ready to share His teachings with me.
When the Holy Spirit’s promptings speak to the mums that Mums At The Table serves, within their circles would be the community our volunteer moderators have built around them: A church built on acceptance and support. A church that’s about the people.
Sometimes, it’s hearing how others go on hoping even without the promise of a hope that is more encouraging.
Melody Tan is a freelance writer, content creator, and editor for both print and digital. She is currently the project leader of “Mums At The Table,” a multimedia initiative aimed at supporting mothers in their parenting journey, through education and community. She and her husband live in Sydney, Australia, with their son.
