When the Door Shuts and the Window Doesn’t Open
by Melody Tan | 16 April 2025 |
I heard the story of a Rwandan pastor who survived his country’s genocide back in 1994. He and some of his church members were having a small group meeting at home when they were rounded up by the Hutus. Forced on their knees in the front yard, they were told to hold up their identification cards. The pastor prayed hard for his life as he held up his card to the Hutu militia, which declared he was a Tutsi, a death sentence during the conflict. Miraculously, the Hutus spared his life.
Then there was a young man whose conviction on the Sabbath meant he refused to work on a Saturday, despite multiple threats that he would lose his job. The young man prayed hard for his future as he stayed home on Sabbaths. Miraculously, the day before he was to be fired, the boss of the company heard about his reasons for not working and chose not to fire him.
There are also countless other stories of Christians, young and old, who have received terminal diagnoses from the doctor. They—and the community around—prayed hard for healing. Miraculously, they lived to tell the tale, and some of their doctors aren’t even able to find the once-malignant tumours or are able to explain why they were healed.
“God hears our prayers,” those sharing the stories would say. “When we are faithful, God will bless us.”
Don’t get me wrong. I am convinced God hears our prayers. I have personally experienced God’s many blessings on my life. I also believe He performs miracles. And I love celebrating good news as much as I love watching cat videos online—they’re both wonderful dopamine hits.
Yet, I wonder.
What about the many other devout Christian Tutsis who lost their lives when their Hutu neighbours came knocking on their doors? What about those who have died due to conflict in their countries?
What about those who give up their hopes and dreams because they decided to make a stand for the Sabbath? Or those who lose their jobs through no fault of their own, as my husband experienced—twice?
What about those who have died despite being faithful, despite being anointed, despite the many prayer vigils, my own father included?
Did God not hear? Are they not faithful?
I’m not advocating for us to not praise God for the blessings and miracles He gives us. Testimonies about how God came through for His children during their darkest moments help to encourage all of us when we experience struggles.
My worry is what happens when He doesn’t come through the way we expect Him to.
Teaching children about God
It’s a concern that intensified as a parent. Over the years, my son has been exposed to incredible stories of Christian faith and the power of prayer. He’s heard that God loves us and wants to bless us. After all, the Bible has declared, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7.
So what happens when his prayers aren’t answered (I’m not talking about flippant prayers like “Please give me more Legos”)? In his simple, childlike reasoning, he concludes it’s because God doesn’t love him or care for him. And if we’re being honest, many of us probably wonder that during the throes of suffering. Am I not faithful enough? Did I not pray hard enough? Am I not worthy?
By now, your mind would probably have wandered to the story of Job. His is a Christian’s favourite story to tell of pain, suffering, and faithfulness. God was very silent at the height of Job’s pain. Job, however, stayed the course, continued to love God, and in the end, was rewarded with more—much, much more.
This is my point: most of our stories of faith have a happy ending. Yes, it serves to encourage us to remain faithful because we will receive the “prize” eventually. At the same time, the reality can be harsher: For some of us, “happily ever after” will never arrive until Jesus returns.
I get it. We all love a good triumph-over-evil story. Stories where someone’s life is spared in unbelievable circumstances or of someone being rewarded despite trying conditions appeal to our desire to know that justice still exists.
But let’s not forget that stories, whether they’re real or made-up, influence and teach us. And if all we hear are stories of God coming through for us in the end, we may miss the point that for some of us, we’re going to have to live with the pain, the suffering, the regret, the sorrow, the consequences, for the rest of our lives.
It’s not because God doesn’t love us; it’s simply because this is not a perfect world where everybody gets to experience a happy ending, whether they’re faithful or not.
Let’s also tell the stories of those who say, “I gave up my dream because of my conviction, but I still love God” or “My family member died even after so many prayers, but I still trust God.” Let’s not be afraid to share our stories where we can’t find the silver lining or the window that opens after a door shuts. Let’s just tell these stories and let’s still celebrate the faithfulness.
Sometimes, it’s hearing how others go on hoping even without the promise of a hope that is more encouraging.
Melody Tan is a freelance writer, content creator, and editor for both print and digital. She is currently the project leader of “Mums At The Table,” a multimedia initiative aimed at supporting mothers in their parenting journey, through education and community. She and her husband live in Sydney, Australia, with their son.
