In a groundbreaking announcement that has sent shockwaves through the Adventist health community, Loma Linda University (LLU) researchers have declared that pumpkin pie can now be classified as “technically a vegetable.” This unexpected revelation comes just in time for the Thanksgiving holiday, providing a convenient loophole for health-conscious Adventists looking to indulge guilt-free.

Dr. Squash Butternut, lead researcher at LLU’s Department of Creative Nutrition, explained the rationale behind this revolutionary classification: “We’ve carefully analyzed the components of a traditional pumpkin pie and found that it contains a significant amount of beta-carotene, fiber, and other nutrients found in vegetables. When you factor in the crust as a whole grain, it’s practically a superfood.”

The study, which conveniently ignored the sugar content and focused solely on the pumpkin’s vegetable status, has been met with mixed reactions from the Loma Linda community. Some students and faculty members have embraced the news with open arms and empty plates, while others remain skeptical of this convenient reinterpretation of the Adventist health message.

LLU’s cafeteria has already updated its menu to reflect this new classification, listing pumpkin pie under the “Vegetable” section alongside broccoli and kale. The university bookstore has also reported a surge in sales of T-shirts emblazoned with the slogan “Eat Your Veggies: Have Some Pie.”

Critics argue that this reclassification sets a dangerous precedent. “What’s next?” asked one concerned nutritionist. “Classifying apple pie as a fruit salad?”

Despite the controversy, the LLU administration stands firmly behind the research. “We believe this breakthrough will revolutionize the way Adventists approach holiday eating,” said a university spokesperson. “It’s all about balance and moderation – and now, apparently, creative categorization.”

As Thanksgiving approaches, Loma Linda residents are eagerly anticipating the opportunity to fill their plates with this newly christened “vegetable.” After all, who wouldn’t want to improve their health by eating more pie?

In related news, the university’s culinary department has announced plans to investigate the potential classification of cranberry sauce as a “berry smoothie” and stuffing as a “whole grain medley.” The results of these studies are eagerly anticipated by Adventists everywhere, who are always on the lookout for new ways to justify their holiday indulgences while maintaining their commitment to health.